Stained Soul
by Alexiel Reborn
Summary: [one shot] Kyo comes to a conclusion on his feelings for Tohru and learns how to deal through his pain. TohruxKyo Fluffiness


Author's Note: This is a short little story I've written. I've been writing a lot of little stories because they're so easy and I've been bored. Hope you enjoy.  
  
I sat across from her on the rooftop, the wind gently blowing her beautiful chestnut hair across her pale creamy skin. I almost lick my lips at the sight, but I quickly catch myself with a shake of the head.  
  
She tilts her head and gives me that look that turns my insides to goo, the one that I can't help, but dread and love at the same time. She doesn't know what she's doing to me, she doesn't know how much I want her and need. I know though that I can never have her, never hold her, never have her love me back. Just sitting there, looking at Tohru I could feel my legs becoming weak and my stomach begins to get the butterflies.  
  
"Kyo, what's the matter? You can tell me!" she says cheerfully, trying to make me smile.  
  
I smile, just for her, unable to hold back the happiness that flows inside of me at the sight of her happiness. If only I could tell her how I feel. Oh how I long to hear those same words said back to me, confirming that my love is not unrequited and unwanted. I know that I won't hear them though. She's so...so...innocent and she doesn't want to be with someone like me, someone stained.  
  
"Hmm.." I mumble uncommitedly as I turn my head away from her and I stare out at the treetops. One more moment of looking at her pretty face and I fear that I am going to do something I'll regret. If I were to hurt her in anyway I could never forgive myself. That's why I can't tell her about this deep love that I share for her. She'll hate me if I do. It's a miracle that she doesn't hate me right now.  
  
I guess for now this will just have to be my secret. I think I can live with that. I've lived with secrets all my life, I can handle this one, hopefully. I mean other than being cursed so that I can never hold onto the one I love so dearly, I'm also such a terrible monster. How can she stand to sit next to me, smiling like that with the knowledge that without this damn bracelet around my wrist I would be such a disgusting being?  
  
Misery beyond misery, heartache following heartache I have lived my life alone with only a couple true friends by my side. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever cares anymore, I mean, cares as to what happens to me. I don't understand anything anymore. Everything before Tohru, although considerable more painful, was much more simple than this. Back then I knew where I was supposed to belong, as the outcast, I knew I would never be accepted by anyone. But when she did, when she reached out her hand to me and took a hold of me in my horrible monster form I couldn't help, but feel accepted. I could feel love in her embrace as she held me tightly against her heart. Her love was innocent, love of a friend, not the love that I craved so passionately.  
  
I turn back to look at her, brushing my long orange bangs out of my face and huffing slightly. She's staring at me with those big beautiful sapphire eyes. My face reddens slightly and I manage to ruin the peaceful moment by opening my big fat mouth. "Why are you staring at me?" I say sharply.  
  
She makes a small cute squeaking noise and adverts her eyes from mine, her hands clasping together nervously. "Sorry!" she says quickly.  
  
My face falters and my blush reddens even more. "....Don't...worry about it..." I manage to mumble out slightly apologetically. It's not her fault that her cuteness always makes me so nervous and jumpy. I feel sorry for her, having to be loved by such a monster like me, but no matter how much I try to suppress it, no matter how much I tell myself that it is wrong, I can't help but love her to death.  
  
My heart is pounding now as her eyes lift and meet my own again, and my breath catches for a single moment. She's so beautiful. I want to reach out and touch her porcelain cheek, but I keep my hands tightly against my sides. The moment begins to fade away though, as the sounds of Shigure and the others downstairs just waking up for the Saturday morning interrupt the pleasant silence.  
  
She starts suddenly, hopping up from her seat on the rooftop, her cheeks a soft pink color. "I better go get breakfast finished now that the others are up." She says with that same air of cheerfulness.  
  
I curse those damn people that I'm forced to live with for interrupting this time I had with Tohru. Sure, I knew that I shouldn't be angry, I should be glad that they stopped us before I couldn't control myself anymore, but.....but...... My heart is yearning for her's so much. It's aching so badly, the pain is so overwhelming.  
  
I collapse against the rooftop once she disappears over the edge and down the ladder. Sighing deeply into the hard roof tiles, I bang an angry fist against them. "Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!" I screech to myself, hoping that no one could hear me. I begin to whisper softer. "If....only....I could tell you....If....only you knew...."  
  
I grip tightly onto my bracelet hating myself more as each minute passes. "You...were the only one who accepted me....you were the only one....who cared...." I begin to mumble absentmindedly to myself, over taken by this sadness. Asking to be with her is too much, but at least I can always love her. As long as I am loving her, I know I can protect her from anything. Now it doesn't seem to matter so much if I can hold her or tell her how I feel. As long as I am keeping her safe, I know I can survive it.  
  
~The End~ 


End file.
